Ted's letter to Joe Visocan, Montana truck stop owner

Dear, sweet Joe:

You fat con-man. You probably think I treated you badly by quitting without notice, but it's your own fault. You gave me this big cock-and-ball story about how much money I could make selling tires and all that crap. "The skys the limit" and so forth. If you had been honest with me I would not have taken the job in the first place: but if I had taken it, I wouldn't have quit without giving you a couple of week's notice. Anyhow, I have a check coming. I am enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope in which you can send it. I had better get that check, because I know what authorities to complain to if I don't get it. If I have to complain about the check, then, while I'm at it, I might as well complain about the fact that you don't have a proper cage for putting air in split-rim tires, which if I am not mistaken is illegal.